A year ago today, you told me you loved me for the very first time. What a difference a year makes. I don’t know what the future will hold for me, but while i can’t forget my past i cannot allow myself to be anchored my by it. It looked a very short time ago like the waters had calmed and that we were taking baby steps toward rekindling a friendship, but for whatever reason you’ve withdrawn again. I wish I knew why. I wish I knew what has made you decide that your life is a better life without me in it. Thank you for the joy you brought to my life, the times we spent together were among my happiest days. Thank you for showing us that unconventional though it may be, our dream of a marriage of three equal, loving partners is possible, once we find that right woman. I know that we will never be what we were, and what we should be, but I still hope that one day that you will choose to be my friend again, because whatever happens, wherever life takes us, i will always be yours. Until that day comes, Merry Christmas, and goodbye.
I hate that after all this time I think of you every day.
I hate that you promised us forever and then just walked away.
I hate that we can’t talk, because it was easier for you to just cut us out of you life.
I hate that despite the way he hurt you you chose him over us.
I hate that after it ended you tried to make it less than it was, as though that would make it easier.
I hate that sometimes I still reach for you in the night.
I hate that despite it all if you wanted to call us yours again I would not hesitate for an instant to put my arms around you and never let you go.
I hate myself for how pathetic that makes me.
I love you. I will always love you, and nobody, however fervently they might argue otherwise will love you as much as I do, as much as I thought you loved me.
Spend the weekend in a Bed and Breakfast in some quaint little town, enjoying the rustic charm, the laid back atmosphere, and the scandalized whispers of the innkeeper and townsfolk.
